Were I the center of the Universe, processed sugar would be a major food group, it would be illegal for grown-ups to wear Care Bear pajamas, and boxed wine would be respected for the genius it is.
But mah granbabies!
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Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay
tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw
in a...